The Real Housewives of New York City They are heading to Salem this week to purportedly escape the political climate of the election. Leah, with a lot of influence in the production, has planned it. In the end, they must find the exit door from this politically charged escape room. Will our RHONY ladies, specifically Ramona, find the escape hatch, let’s see and see?
This episode really brings me back to a time when I was a kid and parents needed something to threaten you with. My parents saying “I’m going to send you to military school!” it basically stopped working. Does everyone remember that show? Scared straight? I do it VERY vividly. This episode really brought me back to the fear I had back then of being sent somewhere basically to be broken down and reprogrammed. Sorry I strayed a bit there, but I was motivated for that episode.
Let’s get on with the episode, but EGADS have to be tortured with Leah in our opening scenes. Leah has taken over my beloved franchise and it makes me sick. I really needed to get that off my chest as well.
Leah He decides to organize a trip to Salem and wants to regain his sanity due to the elections. She definitely agrees with this place, but will they spend 5 days together? Leah wants a latex and leather outfit. She thinks she has a kindred sexual spirit with Bershan since they are both sex positive. Leah really just wants someone close to talk to about the idiots she turns out to be black with so she can maintain her “awake” image.
Ramona and Bershan meet to discuss Eboni’s event. She’s trying to get Bershan out that she didn’t appreciate Eboni’s hard sell. Bershan thinks Eboni meant well, but he needs to relax. I should have said that Eboni’s pontificate made her Charlie Brown’s teacher and all they heard was “Wanh, wanh, wanh, wuh-wahn.”
Ramona warns Bershan that these women fight like bitches in hell. In fact, she admits that her other friends are superficial and that this group is her core. Ramona, don’t you really have 50 best close friends? Ugh, glad you cleared that up, I thought I was lounging around my friend game.
Sonja other Eboni They are on their way to meet a matchmaker in Philadelphia. She thinks they are two soul mates. Sonja claims that the other women feel that she is too preachy. She thinks their relationship will be an experiment. Eboni will try to keep things light in Salem and less sermons. You sure will, Miss Eboni K. Williams!
Sonja is introduced to matchmaker Devyn. She shares that she is a philanthropist for the vulnerable. Sonja tries to say that the good things in life don’t matter too much to her. She obviously has no age parameters. Devyn has in mind a boy who would be perfect for Sonja.
Luann you are packing for your trip. She gets upset when her assistant puts their hats on the bed. Luann tells him that it is bad luck to do that. Who knows?
Leah tells Sonja and Eboni that she wants to panic and hold a séance. What the hell are these crazy bitches gonna conjure?
Leah, who is in a pink tracksuit, acts like she planned a tour bus for this group. He decides to crawl into one of the little bunks and hopefully sleep the entire time.
Sonja asks Luann to help her find a good vibrator. She lost hers on the chicken in the Hamptons. Bershan wants to be in on the action and he wants one too.
Bershan shares her story about her married life and how cancer knocked on her door. She was diagnosed before marrying a British banker. Bershan has been cancer free for 13 years and does not tolerate nonsense. Now why can’t Eboni open up like this and help us get to know her too?
The ladies arrive at the Hawthorne Hotel, which strikes me as quite a controversial choice since Nathaniel Hawthorne was a promoter of white supremacy. Ms. Eboni must not have done her homework or created flashcards at this location. Everyone wears these plastic face shields that look like post-surgical masks after a facelift. It seems that everyone is using them incorrectly with their nose hanging or their mouth exposed.
The guide shares the history of the hotel where 20 people died. Bershan is concerned now as the black person is the first to die in horror movies. The spirit guides have these chants that they are doing that are quite creepy. Is Leah worried about the other women getting her out of Salem?
Ramona got the most haunted room and doesn’t give a damn as she thinks it must be the best room at the time. You may have to play tootsies with a ghost, but that’s nothing Ramona can’t handle. Ramona is already trying to get special treatment. Who doesn’t have to pay more for room service?
The countess takes no chances and savors her room. She is hoping that she can get some lucky spiritual action. Remember that movie called Entity? Luann better be careful, that was some weird shit in that movie and it scared the hell out of me!
Leah looks awful in her big bloated bag get up. Eboni does a much better job with this look and she looks super sexy in her outfit. She starts twerking and Sonja hilariously calls it “retouching”.
Luann was amused when she showed concern for dinner with the paleness of a tattoo. She knows this is not the proper etiquette for a countess, as she has several chapters on this subject in her book! How déclassé is that?
Leah is already giving herself an A + for this trip. Luann is lustful with the fortune teller and his very large hands. Sonja is flirting with the semi creepy twins. Why do you need a matchmaker when you would get 2 for 1 on this deal?
Sonja starts running her mouth and stirring the cauldron. Basically she sells to the other women, but she doesn’t appropriate what she said.
Eboni purses her lips again and we all know what happens when she does. She has the right to freedom of expression, but the other women must shut it down.
Eboni refuses to make kiki with anyone who is a white supremacist. She tells Ramona that she will not talk about the current problems. For her, there are no blurred lines between racist and anti-racist.
Leah thinks women are targeting Eboni as she is a rookie. She decides to blame them instead of casting for not having black women on this show. Leah yells at Ramona to “Shut your mouth!” and then scolds her even more saying “You are an idiot and you are what is wrong in this world!” He doesn’t even allow Ramona to speak up and defend herself. Ramona is probably thinking that is why I will not discuss politics with this group.
Eboni calls Ramona ignorant as she will not participate in these heavy conversations. Bershan tells Eboni that it seems too much. She doesn’t want Eboni to speak for her. Eboni, honey, you are downright exhausting and have sucked up all the fun energy in the room.
Eboni then claims that these women could be aligned with white supremacy. Luann and Ramona hear that and they turn off and they don’t want to be part of that label. Eboni needs to realize that for every step you THINK you have taken forward, it is actually 10 steps back. Ramona then says, “Am I supposed to apologize for being white? In addition, he defends himself by saying: “My mother was an immigrant and came here with nothing.”
So Eboni says her mother voted for Trump in 2016 and still talks to her? Ramona hears this and you can almost hear a huge sigh of relief, but Eboni isn’t done yet! Ramona keeps jumping up and down trying to get them to play some games, but no one’s looking for that ludo game yet! She has no interested parties and then decides to leave the stage to the left, again.
Eboni believes that Bershan has a different approach. Yes it sure does and it is definitely more effective than what you are doing. Bershan is trying to find common ground and find ways to unite and then divide the group.
Leah thinks Ramona cannot have these conversations because she is not fluent in English. She needs to admit that this whole trip so far has been a total disaster and we haven’t even slept with the ghosts yet! Then we have another one that will continue …
Next week, we are still in Salem and things are heating up again. Bershan thinks the ladies are acting like a bunch of grandmothers. Give them time, Bershan, they know how to get up! Hope everyone is okay and see you next week!
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