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Some People Are Actually Happier (and Healthier) Single

But more and more people, particularly straight women, are realizing that couples aren’t always happy or healthy, and that dating culture can be emotionally draining, anxiety-provoking, and sometimes downright humiliating. A 2019 analysis of US Census data shows that approximately 40% of adults between the ages of 25 and 54 were single (neither married nor living with a partner). That’s an increase from 29% in 1990.

For some, it is a choice. For others, singleness is something they fall into due to the death of a partner or a breakup. Divorce is more acceptable now than in decades past, and women in particular have more educational and professional opportunities that allow them to thrive on their own. More and more people are opting for a childless existence, and even if they want children, they may have the financial means and social support to do so without a partner. While there are fewer research studies that have focused on how single queer people feel and the similar or different challenges they face, emerging evidence suggests that singleness among the LGBTQ community can be just as rewarding and challenging.

Circumstances aside, it’s possible to be single and happy, according to the experts we spoke with.

“There’s this misconception that single people are bad at relationships or need relationship advice,” Silver said. “We don’t need relationship advice, because we’re not in relationships. We need advice on being single.”

However, now more than ever, those who live alone are overcoming the social and financial obstacles that stand in their way; they are moving left in dating culture, doing away with traditional partnerships and rejecting the ever-present stigma of single life.

“On a Saturday night in me sofa watching me netflix with me cat and me glass of wine,” Silver imagined. “Like, don’t threaten me to have a good time.”

People do well without partners.

Being single, for some people, is really how they live their best and most authentic lives. Bella DePaulo, an expert on singleness who works in the Department of Brain and Psychological Sciences at the University of California, Santa Barbara, calls these people “single at heart.”

“Almost all singles at heart experience a love of solitude. They like that time to themselves,” said DePaulo, who wrote the book. indicated. “They don’t worry about being lonely. They don’t feel alone. And that’s something that both men and women share.” Because of this, singles live “psychologically rich lives,” he added. They can seek out a variety of interesting and novel experiences that enhance their lives and increase overall happiness and satisfaction.

“From the smallest to the biggest, like deciding if you’re going to pick up your life and move across the country, the single life is a life of possibilities,” DePaulo said. “They’re not trying to conflate their dreams and desires with what a romantic partner wants.”

In turn, single people may have more time to prioritize their mental and physical health than people in a relationship.

Joules Lo’Well, 39, has experienced these benefits firsthand. After leaving an abusive marriage, the Texas resident said she spent too much time dating to try to fill a void she thought she had. “I was always stressed. I was always anxious. Then I realized that when I wasn’t dating, I felt more at peace,” Lo’Well said. “I felt healthier. My skin was lighter. I had no worries or stressors.”

After Lo’Well published a video on tiktok Sharing why she’s perfectly content to remain single forever, which has been viewed more than 2.2 million times, she learned that many people feel the same way.

“We are told that marriage is the pinnacle of success for a woman. That’s what you’re supposed to strive for in life. That if you don’t have a man, you’re alone. But that’s not true,” Lo’Well said. “Women have friends. We have children. We have relatives. We have our pets. We’re taking art classes.”

Data from 2019 shows that while half of single adults say they they are not looking for a relationship or datingsingle men (61%) are much more likely to be looking for a partner compared to single women (38%).

There is less research exploring queer people’s views on singleness. But a 2016 survey found that 63% of single people in the US who identify as gay or lesbian have always wanted to get married, while 25% said they are. It’s okay to never tie the knot.

In general, research shows that single people have a much stronger network of support relationships than those with partners because they are better able to stay connected with family, friends and co-workers, for example.

“Single people are actually more social than married people, and more so in recent decades,” Elyakim Kislev, associate professor at the Hebrew University School of Public Policy and Governance and author of happy singleness other Relations 5.0he said in an email. “We tend to think that the ‘bowling alone’ era is due to singles,” but in reality it’s married people who are more likely to turn inward and forget their social surroundings, Kislev said.


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